Infertility is not a 4 letter word

So yeah you know how most 4 latter words are taboo??? WHY is infertility taboo? I just counted.. 11 letters people!!!!

Maybe as I reach my 18 month TTC a third child (and that is just THIS round) I am a little bitter. I’m scarred. I’m torn. I’m angry.. no, I’m pissed. And I’m hurt… I’ve also had a reality check.

I am a member on a WONDERFUL mommy board. It has all stages of mommydom: waiting to conceive, trying to conceive, pregnancies, babies, tweens & teens, and all the way to grandparents.

I started out there as a guide in Waiting to Conceive (WTTC). I met some WONDERFUL ladies. I witnessed some “oops” pregnancies. I drooled over some adorable babies!

I began TTC and moved on as a guide in Trying to Conceive. I met even more wonderful ladies, watched the women I met in WTTC begin their TTC journey and move on to due date clubs (DDCs) and on to baby playgroups. MORE BABIES TO DROOL OVER!!!

I have been a guide in TTC for almost a year. There are no more “old faces”… except me. Many women who found they had fertility issues moved on to a new board: Fertility Problems, Treatments, and Long Term Trying to Conceive (LTTTC). I visited back & forth because I do have fertility problems (one tube, long term ttc) but I loved the eagerness and hope of the new faces. I still do!! I love being able to share my charting knowledge etc with them.

Today I moved on.

I am now the “unofficial” guide of  LTTTC. Only unofficial because the mods haven’t had a chance to get my name switched over yet. I know these women well. We all come from  the same place… longing for a baby and medical intervention is the only way that it is going to happen. I’m sad but… not resigned. I’m.. ready.

It’s a new phase. Rather than being frustrated alone with well meaning wishes, I’ll be frustrated with other frustrated women who “get it”. Maybe this will be easier on me now?

At any rate.. I’m sick on infertility. But I am not standing silent anymore. It happens. It’s real. It is a medical issue and it doesn’t make me a freakshow.

Yes, I have children.
Yes, I am 33.
Yes, I am battling infertility to get pregnant again.

And if you don’t like that??? Well YOU need the reality check.. not me.

Until later! Anne Marie


Wheat Allergies

So I’m fairly sure I have a wheat allergy.

After doing the Anti-inflammatory/Elimination diet strict for a few weeks and then eating regular, meats seem to bother my digestive tract.. as in someone stabs me in the stomach with a pitch fork after I eat it.. and wheat does this:

A common sign of a wheat allergy is nasal congestion. Because of increased levels of histamine in the body, the sinus cavity can become inflamed and swollen. The swollen nasal passages block the body from properly draining the mucus in the sinuses, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. This leads to sinus pressure felt throughout the head, such as in the eyes, cheeks and forehead. Nasal congestion can lead to postnasal drip, sinusitis and a stuffy nose. Nasal congestion can be treated with decongestants that reduce the amount of blood into the sinuses, alleviating inflammation.

Read more:

I really believe this is the case because when I eliminate wheat from my diet other “allergies’ I thought I had go away. For instance, cats. I have lots of friends with cats and it seemed like when we’d get together at theior homes and cook/etc I’d get stuffy and have issues with the cat. Well, since eliminating wheat, I have ADOPTED a cat. I don’t have the issues. But when I have a burger on a bun, there goes my nose again!

I’m going to attempt to eliminate wheat from my diet completely and add back otherthings to see if it is the only issue.. but do you know how many everyday products have wheat!!!!!

Thank God I’m a southern girl and I can have rice!!!

The Anti-Inflammatory Diet

I have been looking at Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) as a natural way to help with some of my “ailments” from body aches & pains, migraines, and infertility. I came across a local practitioner in Cary, NC and have been talking to her about things to help without ever having met her. I plan on starting a Arvigo/Maya Abdominal Therapy Massage session with her in March.

In the mean time she suggested this diet for me in order to cleanse my body of toxins and to figure out what my triggers are.

I have made a transition to this diet and over the past two weeks I have felt AMAZING!! I splurged over the weekend going to Carolina Ale House to watch UFC, and I really felt a difference the next few days, so I’m really trying to stick by it.

Since I can’t get my hands on any free-range and/or grass-fed meats right now I’m going mostly vegan with an occasional 3oz of reg grilled chicken…. and I have my one mug of coffee a day.. hey.. a girl has to have her coffee!!!

Bonus: I’ve lost 5 lbs since I started it 12 days ago 🙂

The Anti-Inflammatory Diet


Animal Fat
• High: grain-fed beef, pork
• Moderate: cheese, egg yolk, skinless chicken, pork, turkey
• Least: grass-fed beef, wild game
Trans-fatty acids (partially hydrogenated oils)
• Why do they exist? Because they are solid at room temperature
• Found in crackers, cookies, chips, etc
Anything that increases Insulin
• Sugar
• Sweets
• Processed grains

Cold Water Fish
• Wild-caught Salmon
• Tuna
• Sardines
• Herring
• Rainbow Trout
• Mackerel
• Turmeric
• Garlic
• Ginger
• Flax Seeds
• Walnut


Eat protein with EVERY meal!
Poach, bake, steam or broil deep sea ocean (vs. farmed) fish
• Cod
• Haddock
• Halibut
• Mackerel
• Sardines
• Summer Flounder
• Wild Pacific Salmon (No shellfish Shrimp, lobster, crab, clam)
Eat only the meat and not the skin of free-range or organically grown chicken, turkey: Bake, broil or steam
• Limit to 4oz, 3times/week

Eat a variety of any legumes that you are able to tolerate. Soak for 48-72 hours and cook slowly
• Split Peas
• Lentils
• Kidney Beans
• Pinto Beans
• Fermented Soy (tempeh or miso)
• Mung beans
• Garbanzo beans
• Adzuki beans
Seeds & Nuts
Seeds: Grind 2 Tbsp/day and add to cereal, smoothies, salads etc
• Flax
• Pumpkin
• Sunflower
• Sesame
• Nut & Seed butters
• Almond, cashew, sesame, etc
• Whole food nut & fruit bars

Eat a variety of any and all vegetables (except tomatoes and potatoes) that you can tolerate. Include at least one green vegetable daily. Aim to eat at least 5 servings/day. It is best to try and eat mostly the lower carbohydrate (3, 6%) vegetables.
• 3%- asparagus, bean sprouts, beet greens, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, celery, swiss chard, cucumber, endive, lettuce, mustard greens, radish, spinach, watercress
• 6%- string beans, beets, brussel sprouts, chives, collards, eggplant, kale, kohlrabi, leeks, onion, parsley, red pepper, pumpkin, rutabaga, turnip, zucchini
• 15%- artichoke, parsnip, green peas, squash, carrot
• 20%- yam
Add your favorite spices to enhance the taste of these yummy vegetables. Increase your intake of garlic, onions, leeks, ginger and turmeric.

Eat no more than 1-2cups of cooked grains per day of those that you tolerate, unless you have indications of high insulin levels such as overweight, high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes. Allowed grains include:
• Amaranth
• Barley
• Buckwheat
• Millet
• Oatmeal
• Quinoa
• Basmati
• Brown Rice
• Rye
• Teff

Eat only 1 or 2 pieces/day of practically any fruit except citrus. Like vegetables, try to eat mostly the low carbohydrate fruits (3,6%).
• 3%- cantaloupe , rhubarb, strawberries, melons
• 6%- apricot, blackberries, cranberries, papaya, peach, plum, raspberries, kiwi
• 15%- apple, blueberries, cherries, grapes, mango, pear, pineapple, pomegranate
• 20%- banana, figs, prunes, any dried fruit

Use sparingly and ONLY with meals
• Raw honey
• Maple syrup
• Barley syrup
• Agave syrup
• Stevia
Absolutely NO sugar, NutraSweet or any other chemical sweetener.

For butter: mix together 1lb of butter & 1c of extra virgin olive oil. Whip at room temperature and store in the refrigerator.
Use extra virgin olive oil for all other situations requiring oil.

To add a delightful flavor to your food choices, add whatever spices you enjoy.

Drink a MINIMUM of 6-8 glasses of spring, bottled, filtered or reverse osmosis filtered water every day.
• 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water per day is the optimal amount SMALL amounts of soy, rice or oat milk are allowed ONLY on cooked grains or in cooking.

Foods to AVOID
• Milk: all animal milks
• Cheeses: all animal cheeses
• Commercial Eggs
• (organic OK)
• all products with wheat
• Breads
• White flour
Citrus fruits
Peanuts/peanut butter
Certain Meats
• Red meats
• beef
• Pork
• Shell Fish (Shrimp, lobster, crab, clam)
•Night Shade Vegetables
•Potatoes: red and white
•All fruit Juices
•Teas with caffeine
• Coffee
• Corn
• all products with corn
• Dried Fruits
• Fried Foods
• Alcohol
• Soy: all products with soy


My story

I began TTC my 2nd Dec 2004, miscarried June 2, 2005, and finally brought new thriving life into the world June 2, 2006. She has been my miracle and it took me almost a year to bring myself to TTC again , and exactly 1 year ttc before I got that next positive test.

Sadly, a few short weeks later I started having severe cramping in my right side. A trip to L&D with an emergency run to u/s showed a perfectly formed sac w/heartbeat… at the conjunction of my tube and uterus, growing into my tube- what is called a corunal ectopic pregnancy – only 1-2% of pregnancies are this type. We were devastated, but told we could try again when my numbers went back down. Unfortunately, when i went in for surgery it was worse than the u/s showed. I was on the verge of rupturing I lost not only my tube, but the corner or “horn” of my uterus. “A sizable portion of the horn,” is how my dr put it, the technical term is a cornual resection. He recanted his words of hope, telling us that it would be better not to ttc again. That there is a chance of the uterus rupturing during delivery, or possibly in the 3rd trimester.

I still have my right tube, I still ovulate, I still have the witch AF. What I don;t have is another baby. I have 2 daughters and 2 angels. I love my daughters, but I have always dreamed of at least 3 babies. What I do have is a nagging doubt, and a longing to TTC again. I know I have a 15% higher risk for another ectopic since I have had one already. I have read online about women carrying to “full term” as in delivering as soon as they reached 35-36 weeks to prevent rupture. I’m willing to deal with moderate bed rest and all that jazz. I just want another baby.

My husband and I have decided to seek a second opinion and hopefully on April 3rd I will have a positive answer to my nagging and can begin TTC dream #5…